To narcissists, the world is their audience, and everyone they meet—and everything that happens—is centered on them.http://www.wabccoaches.com/blog/tag/personality-disorders/
Yesterday I met a narcissist. Generally when one meets another for the first time, you express interest in each other, and make an effort to get to know them. Topics are confined to areas of general interest and revolve around such things as hobbies and interests, the weather, holiday plans, work, current events, and the like. There’s a give and take to the conversation.
As well, most people hold back from revealing too much personal information until there is an established relationship. Not so with this person. In the space of two hours, I heard all about her. And I do mean all–her suicide attempt, her surgeries, her boyfriend problems, her work issues, her two bankruptcies, her landlords, her this, her that. No matter the topic, this woman found a way to manipulate the conversation back to make it about her. For example: “I want to work in travel” my other walking companion said to me. Before the words of my reply had made their way from my mouth to her ears, Miss Narcissist stated “I used to work in a travel agency” and once again all the focus was on her.
Not only that, but she had all the answers. Despite her financial problems, considering declaring bankruptcy yet again –apparently that’s the new way to deal with being over extended — and living alone in a rather large place, suggestions of getting a roommate to help defray expenses were dismissed because “she is growing” — whatever that means.
And this is not a young woman — this woman is a grandmother! Then again, age has nothing to do with maturity.
All of it gave me a headache, exhausted me, sent me into a flare, and made me want to run for the hills. There are too many other people such as her in my life — I don’t have the strength for one more.
Sometimes I think I’m the only non self-absorbed person left.
I was involved with a severe narcissist. He was completely opposite. Wooing me, it was always –Oh tell me all about you and I want to know everything.
I guess the extreme other end of the spectrum and it was uncomfortable. Relationships do need to be two ways so when he was adoring me and so focused on me this way, it was uncomfortable. Finally got him to open up about himself, but who knows if any of it was true. Bits and pieces maybe. He pretended to be so interested in other people’s well-being, but it was all a front. It really was all about him, but one wouldn’t have easily recognized that, unless she knew what to look for.
I know another person though, she interrupts people all the time to talk about herself, like this person you describe. Completely changes the subject. Constantly. She is much older now and I think tries to do better as people have made remarks and such. I think though that she struggles with this. I don’t know if she is a narcissist, but surely has strong traits. I have felt sorry for her, because I know her background and how she didn’t feel loved growing up and was abused. It’s too bad she never did therapy or something to help her.
It is draining to interact this way, and hurtful when it is someone you really do wish or even need to listen to you.
Run for the hills if you can…
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Thanks for your comment. I plan on keeping my distance from this person; I already have several self-absorbed people in my life right now and that is enough. Not all of them I’m close to though and that’s just fine with me.
The link you included is facinating.
It is a very interesting read isn’t it?
Yes, run for the hills! Having negative people in your life will only be draining. Friendship needs to be reciprocal in order to be sustained. I’ve had these kinds of friendships and you just get so tired of having it always be about them!
Very fascinating article, too! I’ll have to delve more into this topic, also compare narcissists and psychopaths to the other personality disorders as well.