Four Questions

We received the following in an email from our church’s vision team.  Our answers are below each question.

The Vision Team would welcome your perspectives on the following questions.

1.  What is most important to me about my congregation?

 

The close friendships we have made where we feel totally accepted and can be truly authentic.

2.  What do I worry most about when I think of my congregation?

 

In general:

 

We’d say that sometimes in faith communities there exists a reluctance for authenticity and honest discussion.  Such an atmosphere is not fostered, welcomed, or encouraged.  There also exists, in some faith communities, a shame based culture, as well as pressure to conform, “go with the flow,” don’t rock the boat, etc.

 

For example:  Christians, because of who we are in Christ, may labor under the mis-conception that we *should* never experience any form of mental illness etc. and if we do we berate ourselves for the same.

3.  If I could change one thing about my congregation at the drop of a hat, what would it be?

 

Legalism and the focus on sin, daily confession, keeping short accounts, etc.

 

From:  http://www.gracewalkministries.blogspot.com/:

 

“Under the covenant of law, one was not totally forgiven but must receive ongoing forgiveness in order to remain in a guilt free state. Yet at the cross, God poured out all His forgiveness toward those who are His. We don’t need to ask anymore! Paul described total forgiveness in Colossians 2:13-14.

The cross of Jesus was God’s final word about our sins. So let’s stop acting like it wasn’t by continuing to ask Him to do something He’s already done – forgive us.”

4.  What are opportunities and threats that face my congregation?

 

There exists an opportunity to become different than other churches.  A church that is inclusive, grace-based, and fostering an atmosphere of total authenticity.  Faith communities embracing total authenticity involve some measure of risk, uncomfortableness, etc. One would think that in a faith community more so than any other community (i.e. a “work” community) one could be free to be totally themselves, but this is not always the case [in our experience].

 

Threats include:  ignoring the opportunities for change, contentment with the “status quo”, making things more complicated than necessary such as outreach, missions, etc.

 

It will be interesting to see what may come out of this.  There was also a discussion group held last Saturday that we weren’t able to attend.  I believe the focus of the Vision Team is to find (negotiate, navigate)  a way forward for our church.

Friendship Balls

The “Old English Friendship Ball” is traditionally known as a symbol of friendship. The ball is a circle with no beginning, no end and keeps us together just like our circle of friends. It sparkles in the light the way a good friend brings sparkles into your life. The colors swirl and blend across the surface of the ball enhancing one another just like the talents and varied personalities of friends. Each piece is handmade and unique. No two balls are alike, just like no two friends are alike.

It’s interesting to read about the Friendship Ball.  I purchased one , not knowing that it was a Friendship Ball.  I only knew that it was a pretty ornament, something I contemplated hanging in the yard, but with the strong winds we have here, decided against it.

friendshipball1

I’d like to say I received this Friendship Ball from a very good friend but the truth is I purchased this Friendship Ball at a garage sale.  Now that I know what it is, and the origins of the Friendship Ball, I wonder:

  • Did the seller of this item receive it as a gift from a friend?
  • Did the seller of this item know it was a Friendship Ball and the history behind the original Friendship Balls?
  • Did the friendship sour and hence the sale of the item?
  • Did the seller of this item just not like it?

How Not To Decorate

Perusing local MLS listings recently of houses for sale, I see some interesting decorating “styles” such as:

Austin Powers’ bedroom:

Is this where Austin Powers sleeps?

horribleclashing

Clash of the Patterns

Experts tell us, the way we sell our home is not the way we live in our home. Here are five tips to help prepare your home for re-sale in the competitive marketplace of today:

Declutter, declutter, declutter – you have to pack anyway, so why not start now? This will help show your home to the best advantage and make it look more spacious. Sort through closets and pack away any unused items such as toys, clothing, etc.

Remove personal items from the home such as family photographs and this will help perspective home buyers to see the house as their own.

Clean and then clean again. Include such areas as baseboards,cold air returns, light fixtures, etc. Keep kitchen and bathroom surfaces as free of appliances and toiletries as possible. This will again help your home look spacious. You may wish to engage a cleaning service to do a one time deep clean of your space.

Now would be a good time to complete any repairs you have been meaning to do so your home is well-maintained. Ensure all light bulbs are replaced; your want your home to look as bright as possible. Paint can transform a room, or the exterior of your home, miraculously.

Consider repainting your home in a neutral color to appeal to the widest variety of potential home buyers.

And lastly, you may want to look at hiring a home stager to help with the arrangement of your furniture, decluttering, and other services to help your home look the best it can.

Weird News of the Week

Weird week for news:

I'm starving!  Looks Yummy!

I'm starving! Looks Yummy!

Governor General of Canada defends seal eating

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/090528/national/gov_gen_seal_hunt

Oh I dunno, maybe she was hungry?

Man uses daughter’s breast milk as cancer treatment.

As long as he drank it out of a glass….

http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/index.php?rn=222561&cl=13682357&ch=

Man pushes would-be suicide off bridge; claims it was a “public service”

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/reuters/090525/odds/odd_us_jumper_odd

And finally,

Connecticut woman bitten after  saying “bite me”

Apparently someone took her literally: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/05/28/ap/strange/main5044986.shtml

Looks like I better be careful where and when I use one of my favorite expressions; someone might take me up on it.

Are Lawyers Rats?

Philip Slayton, author of “Lawyers Gone Bad:  Money, Sex and Madness in Canada’s Legal Profession” would have you believe so.  He explains therein how lawyers became greedy unprincipled defenders of the rich.  The Maclean’s interview of Mr. Slayton, created a storm of controversy:  http://www.macleans.ca/article.jsp?content=20070726_161005_9580

The Canadian Bar Association, among others, was not amused and demanded Macleans apologize for Mr. Slayton’s remarks.  Maclean’s response:  http://www.canadianjusticereviewboard.ca/article-Lawyers_are_rats.htm

As someone who was a legal assistant for 13 years, it’s hard for me to disagree with Mr. Slayton.  I assure you I saw it all.  And, if it wasn’t the lawyers or the other staff, it was the clients.  From the lawyers:

  • Displays of obsessive-compulsiveness (requested to change the backer of a document because of a minor discrepancy, not visible to the naked eye.)
  • Breaches of confidentiality (something I’d disclosed to my boss, in confidence,  he decided to share with a client without my knowledge or consent).
  • Sexual harassment (“Nice kneecaps” the senior partner said as he gave them a bit of a rub as he walked by). I was seated at the time.
  • Verbal abuse (“Well if you’d just rather go back to your desk and just pick your nose than help me, go right ahead” – said after I’d explained to this lawyer my busy workload that day.  Apparently I wasn’t busy enough.)
  • Counsel for the other side purported to give me instructions on a file (Funny, I don’t recall them signing my paycheque).

I foolishly endured it all.

Then there were the clients – the inappropriate personal comments (“Are you gaining weight?”) and verbal abuse – generally consisting of yelling and screaming at me over the phone or in person, usually after they received their bill.

I cannot believe I lasted 13 years but after having to take two stress leaves, it was time to pack it in.

So what do you think – are lawyers “rats?”

Magazine World

I’ve decided I want to live in Magazine World.

It’s a parallel universe where, apparently, everyone takes the whole summer off to vacation at the cottage, can afford expensive items for their homes – vacation or otherwise – such as a $200 IPOD Toilet Tissue holder, buy designer clothing, and host fabulous – and catered – parties.

But no time of year is more glorious and storybook-like in Magazine World than Christmas.  In Magazine World, everyone has a wonderful family and spends the month of December merrily going from fabulous party to fabulous party and has the halls decked to look like the cover of a magazine.  The only problems in Magazine World’s Christmas are how to manage your hangover and keep off those holiday pounds.

Reality Check

20% of North Americans do not take vacations or do not use all their vacation time.  In part because we (Canadian and Americans) receive the fewest paid vacation days per year in the world at approximately 10 days, respectively and also in part because of fears of job security.    By contrast, the Danes receive 31 vacation days per year. [Denmark is a very enlightened country!] [vacation statistics from www.vault.com]

Of the North Americans that do take their vacation days, some spend their vacation days in such restful pursuits as visiting family members or completing the ‘honey-do’ list.  Others spend the “vacation” “working from home” – and in this case, a change is not as good as a rest.

Oh and that cottage Magazine World talks about?  A mere 9% of Canadians own cottages according to one source.

While it’s a myth that suicide rates increase at Christmas (in fact, stastically suicide rates decrease in December), Christmas can be and is a very stressful time for a great deal of people.  Loneliness, depression, financial strain, family conflict and alcohol abuse can all intensify at Christmastime.

To make it through December relatively unscathed, the Centre for Suicide Prevention in Calgary, Alberta has these tips:

  • Plan to take time to identify your feelings about Christmas.
  • Be realistic; look at what you can afford to give (for tips, see: http://www.buynothingchristmas.org/alternatives/index.html
  • Choose to celebrate with people who make you feel positive and hopeful (for many of us that would exclude rather than include, family members and in-laws).
  • Let go of your expectations and make time for what is important to you.

I’d also add a suggestion to try and maintain your normal exercise routine as much as possible to reduce stress and stave off extra holiday pounds.

Or, you could move into Magazine World….

Lefties more inhibited and anxious, says study

http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/20081104/lefthanded_study_081104/20081104?hub=Health

That explains everything! (NOT) I’m a lefty in case you haven’t guessed.

Here’s my response to that “study”:

A lefty sits here,

Riddled with fear

Then thinks,

As she inks

Criticism be damned

(I can go on the lam)

No scolding, no sorrow

I’ll be back tomorrow!

The Albatross

Sometimes our house feels like an albatross around my neck and sometimes it feels like a sanctuary.  This week, the albatross is winning.  The list of tasks to fix this house – even what would be necessary to do before selling – are endless and, by the time we get them all done, it’ll be time to start over!  We’ve lived here almost 8 years and have done a lot and I mean a lot to this place – from removing the “flocked” (i.e. raised pattern) 80′s type wallpaper in the living room to chipping out the Easy-Brick “trim” around the entryway into the kitchen.  I’m tired.  Tired of the upkeep and the updating. I’m even tired of recycling (we don’t have curbside pick up).  It’s not that big of a house but right now it feels huge and unwieldy and like someone who’s stayed too long at the party (it is over 25 years old and it shows).

LIST OF IMPROVEMENTS TO HOUSE SINCE PURCHASE (2000):

New hot water tank (2000)

Electronic air cleaner (2003)

Air conditioning (2002)

New dishwasher (2005)

New fridge (2002)

New front entry door (2001)

New windows in m.b., ensuite, hot tub room

New glass in windows in spare bedroom and office

New baseboards, flooring, window coverings

Completely re-developed family room in basement with new carpet, built-ins, lighting, window treatments, paint.

New light fixtures in kitchen, master bedroom, hallway, office

Repainted completely.

New linoleum in bathrooms and new carpet on stairs, lower landing  (2006)

New higher -end walnut stained 8 mm laminate flooring in bedrooms, living room, hallway 2006

New baseboards and trim throughout – 2005-2006

New low flush toilets in bathrooms – 2006

Extensive landscaping and gravel RV pad

Ceilings repainted – 2006

To do:

a.      Paint and/or stain and/or replace all interior doors;

b.      Paint all window casings and trim;

c.      Finish fireplace  – tile just needs a coat of sealant

d.      Re-floor hot tub floor

e.      Finish replacing baseboards;

f.       Finish installing laminate

g.      Put up drywall sheets in garage

h.      Stain rest of fence, stain trim on garage, install eavestroughs on garage, stain shed, stain deck floor.

i.        Roof

j.        Completely rebuild & stain stairs leading away from deck

k.     Re-landscape the front and repaint the trim around the door and window

l.     Install new countertops & sinks in bathrooms

m.    Spare bedroom walls

As we are in a buyer’s market right now, houses have to be in darn near perfect, move-in ready condition.  We know two couples who have been trying to sell their houses since May.  One house I’d describe as move in condition; the other I have not been in but I do know the owners and one is a smoker with several pets so that may be a deterrent. So even if we were to sell, we’d still have to do all these improvements.

I’d like to sell and get into something newer, smaller, and move in ready, with everything on one level including the laundry room because stairs are an issue for me.  If someone came with the house to do the yardwork, so much the better!  Oh no wait, that’s my husband….

Recalculating….

This was sent to me today in an email:

“Forget about cellphones causing car accidents. In the UK, a ridiculous 300,000 car crashes have been caused by GPS. And, according to a survey commissioned by Brit tabloid rag The Mirror, 1.5 million drivers have swerved through traffic when following their sat-nav’s instructions a little too closely.

The list of errors caused by slavishly obeying absurd commands would be hilarious if they weren’t so dangerous: Driving onto a railway line, heading the wrong way down one-way streets, hurtling headlong into ditches, getting stuck under bridges and ignoring road signs.”

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2008/07/21/satnav-danger-revealed-navigation-device-blamed-for-causing-300-000-crashes-89520-20656554/

I particularly like the quote in the article from the psychologist: “”But some people are easily persuadable and will follow instructions, whether it is their wife or a computer telling them where to go.”

It just proves that it doesn’t matter if you are on a cell phone, listening to your GPS, adjusting your stereo, putting on your makeup, reading the newspaper, or talking to your passengers, or in some extreme cases looking for loose change in your glove box, driving while being distracted is still a stupid thing to do. You are still required to keep your eyes on the road and use your brain, not necessarily in that order.  Some people just do not get that concept.

Mind you, apparently a certain map website at one point instructed its users to “swim across the ocean” when travelling from the US to the UK.

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