In any event, our web development business website that this blog is attached to will not be hosted anymore as of the end of March, 2012. We did not generate enough business from the same to continue to keep paying the web hosting and domain registration fees and so must discontinue the website for now.

I have moved the content from this blog over to a WordPress blog I started in 2008 and am in the process of rebuilding the content that I lost.

Please update your bookmarks, readers, blogroll, etc. accordingly.

The new blog address is:
http://bignoises.wordpress.com/

Thanks and hope to “see” you over there!

Stop All The Clocks

To narcissists, the world is their audience, and everyone they meet—and everything that happens—is centered on them.http://www.wabccoaches.com/blog/tag/personality-disorders/

Yesterday I met a narcissist.  Generally when one meets another for the first time, you express interest in each other, and make an effort to get to know them.  Topics are confined to areas of general interest and revolve around such things as hobbies and interests, the weather, holiday plans, work, current events, and the like.  There’s a give and take to the conversation.

As well, most people hold back from revealing too much personal information until there is an established relationship.  Not so with this person.  In the space of two hours, I heard all about her.  And I do mean all–her suicide attempt, her surgeries, her boyfriend problems, her work issues, her two bankruptcies, her landlords, her this, her that. No matter the topic, this woman found a way to manipulate the conversation back to make it about her.  For example: “I want to work in travel” my other walking companion said to me. Before the words of my reply had made their way from my mouth to her ears,  Miss Narcissist stated “I used to work in a travel agency” and once again all the focus was on her.

Not only that, but she had all the answers.  Despite her financial problems, considering declaring bankruptcy yet again –apparently that’s the new way to deal with being over extended — and living alone in a rather large place, suggestions of getting a roommate to help defray expenses were dismissed because “she is growing” — whatever that means.

And this is not a young woman — this woman is a grandmother!  Then again, age has nothing to do with maturity.

All of it gave me a headache, exhausted me, sent me into a flare, and made me want to run for the hills. There are too many other people such as her in my life — I don’t have the strength for one more.

Sometimes I think I’m the only non self-absorbed person left.

The [Canadian] government is trying to ram through an anti-Internet set of electronic surveillance laws that will invade your privacy and cost you money. The plan is to force every phone and Internet provider to surrender our personal information to “authorities” without a warrant.

This bizarre legislation will create Internet surveillance that is:

Warrantless: A range of “authorities” will have the ability to invade the private lives of law-abiding Canadians and our families using wired Internet and mobile devices, without a warrant or any justification.

Invasive and Dangerous: The laws leave our personal and financial information less secure and more susceptible to cybercrime.

Costly: Internet services providers may be forced to install millions of dollars worth of spying technology and the cost will be passed down to YOU.

If enough of us speak out now the government will have no choice but to stop this mandatory online spying scheme. Sign the petition now, and forward it to everyone you know.

To sign the Petition, go to:  http://stopspying.ca/

I guard sleep.  In fact, I think about sleep a lot. Sometimes there’s more thinking about sleep than the actual doing of it. I plan my evening activities around how much I can do and how much sleep I can get.  One late night results in days of extra fatigue until I can play catch up.

And these days a “late night” means a 10:30 pm bedtime; hardly the “late nights” of my twenties where, on occasion, I’d party until dawn.

Because I am easily over-stimulated, I’ve been known to toss and turn until the wee hours after a gathering with friends, too much sugar, or a comedy show.

My caffeine intake has been restricted to mornings only. I miss it, especially when I haven’t slept well or long enough.  But too much caffeine can set up a vicious cycle for me of poor sleep, more caffeine, poor sleep, you get the idea.

When Punkin [one of our cats] started her early morning hints for breakfast, I decided I’d need to go to bed early to compensate for her disrupting my sleep.  Now, blessed (or cursed) with being an early riser, no matter what hour I’d retired the night before, I have been known to go over my evening schedule for the week and count the nights I can go to bed early.

Some days, it feels like my whole life revolves around sleep—getting it, finding it, keeping it.  Too long tossing and turning and I’ll practice breathing techniques, take gravol, count backwards from 100, name flowers -  all to find that sweet spot of sleep for “sleeplessness is a desert without vegetation or inhabitants.” (Jessamyn West)

We returned from a three week RV vacation almost a week ago.  I had more pain then usual when I am on holiday, but “pain doesn’t go on vacation”, it goes where I go and participates in what I do.  Some observations that may help with pain on RV road trips I’ve found are:

• Bless my irritable bladder– bathroom breaks every couple of hours force us to get out and walk around, stretching muscles that have been in the “lock and load”  position for a while.
• Being thankful –File this one under “things I need to work on” — feeling thankful, rather than annoyed,  at how wireless internet at most of the campgrounds we stayed at sucked.  So my computer time was greatly reduced.  While it was somewhat difficult emotionally to stay unconnected from those at home, my body appreciated it..a bit less pain in my neck and shoulders. The Netbook we’d brought along only has a 10″ screen which caused me to experience difficulties in reading content on it so I rarely did.
• Keep it small–I appreciated the ease of clean up in a 22′ RV, even if the small space made me a bit stir crazy at times.
• Use the force–assisted mobility devices that is (if you don’t have your own.)  At the outlet mall, I used one of their wheelchairs (hubby helped push).  Swallowing some pride helped me conserve my energy for something important I wanted to do later.
• Drinking’s good–drinking more (water) is better.   It’s possible dehydrated muscles are more painful muscles but I’m no doc. This is the point where I curse, rather than bless, my irritable bladder.

Here’s a few pictures of our trip to the West Coast in 2010.  (My web host limits me to 2 MB per picture and I lack the knowledge and energy to re-size the bigger ones.)  Hope you enjoy these.

Lighthouse at Whidbey Island, Washington

Sunset at Cannon Beach, Oregon

4th of July Parade on Whidbey Island

A woman and her dog, Cannon Beach, Oregon

The summer of 2011 will see us again in our RV for about 3 weeks.  I’ve recently been diagnosed with low Vitamin D levels so, at home and on the road, I plan to soak up the sun as much as possible.

]]> http://www.bignoise-enterprises.com/blog/2011/06/09/pain-doesnt-take-a-holiday/feed/ 6 http://www.bignoise-enterprises.com/blog/2011/05/26/intimacy-with-a-side-of-pain/ http://www.bignoise-enterprises.com/blog/2011/05/26/intimacy-with-a-side-of-pain/#comments Thu, 26 May 2011 17:26:43 +0000 Kathy http://www.bignoise-enterprises.com/blog/?p=1426 Continue reading →]]>

This Willow Tree Figure is entitled "Together" & was given to us @ Christmas.

When Chronic Babe posted the latest blog carnival prompt, http://www.chronicbabe.com/articles/cat/16/ I gulped. Could I be THAT revealing On. The. Freaking. Internet. *deep breaths* Okay, here goes lol.

We’ve been married for almost 15 years.  Intimacy has been a challenge for a lot of those years.  It’s been tough not only because of chronic illness, but also because of emotional issues from my past. We have seen counselors throughout our marriage, not always with success, until we found our current one (a qualified sex therapist.) We have worked with him for several years to bring healing to my heart and to get all aspects of intimacy (emotional, spiritual, physical) back on side. Along our journey, we learned (amongst other things) what true intimacy is and isn’t. It has taken a lot of hard work — “blood, sweat and tears” — as they say,  and while it’s not perfect yet, it’s way, way better than it was.

But I digress.

Sometimes, however, the pain is too great to push to the back of my mind to enjoy intimacy.

It’s then I remember that Chronic Pain is the Third Wheel in Our Relationship.

Nonetheless, I’m pretty good at ignoring my pain to do other activities.  *So, I figured, I can’t let pain be the excuse to intimacy avoidance. After all, I said to myself, what’s more important—a clean house or a better relationship?

We set aside time for deep, emotional and spiritual sharing of where we are at, we pray for and with one another and, on the physical side, we give each other massages and other physical affection. Most times the physical portion of our intimacy “program” includes other pleasurable endeavors and that’s all I’ll say about that. We have learned we have to purpose this time together as all too often, life gets in the way.

To get pain levels down enough to be present in these moments and focus on it (rather than the pain), I  pace ignore some of my other activities, and often take a bath beforehand with Epsom salts.  Due to scar tissue, certain aspects of physical intimacy are painful. So, I am also working on breaking down scar tissue to reduce pain levels in that area.

Those clean toilets? They’ll just have to wait.  I’m saving my spoons http://butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf for something better.

*Disclaimer:  Please know that this is all about just what sometimes works for me.

Today is Fibromyalgia Awareness Day. I have struggled with it since 1996.  It’s unpredictable.

Herewith, a pictorial guide to fibromyalgia.  Some images are courtesy of http://fmcfsme.com/

Sleep and Rest Are Tough To Come By

It's thought that FM patients perceive/process pain differently in the brain

There’s an eighth type of FM pain– the Pain In the Ass pain!

I'd like to give FM the boot!

Medications Help Many Manage FM

I don't have the memory of an elephant.

I have rough days but I --like many FM patients-- try my best

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get my purple on – purple is the “color” for FM.

It’s recommended by dermatologists when checking your moles to use the ABCDE’s of melanomas:

A is for Asymmetrical.

B is for Borders (irregular or raised)

C is for Color (dark black or multiple colors within one mole.)

D is for Dimension (larger than the eraser end of a pencil.)

E is for Evolving (changing shape, size or color.)

The video is entitled “Dear 16 year old me.”  When I was 16, I lived at a boarding school.  A group of us would often walk down to a grassy area to tan.  We’d use baby oil to tan darker. Denise got a sunburn so bad in her cleavage area it blistered. I wonder how her skin is now.

I got my birthday suit checked by a dermatologist a couple of years ago. I try to watch my moles. It’s probably a good thing that now I don’t like heat and wear sunscreen as much as possible.  I prefer a healthy glow over my usual pasty white but since I’m showing more signs of sun damage, I’ve decided to tell myself:

White skin–it’s the new black, baby!